Friday, November 21, 2008

The Little Things

I love that song These Are a Few of My Favourite Things.

For those that don't know it, here are the lyrics:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bitesWhen the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad


I think about the little things that I enjoy. The things that give me pleasure. My younest bringing me a grasshopper that he found in the backyard. The laughter it brings forth from his lips because it tickled him. Watching the pride in my 11 year olds face as he figures out how to do something. Listening to my oldest as he tells me about something funny he read or watched.
Watching the sun come up and feeling its warmth. Watching the dogs play in the backyard. Finding a good book I can really enjoy. Music that moves me.
Being with a good friend who's company I really enjoy and cherish. Especially going to lunch and enjoying a really wonderful chicken milanese flatbread pizza. YUM!!

I think about all the little things I will miss about my mom. Calling her up and asking her how to say something in Japanese. Going out to dinner. Watching her play at the park with my boys. Her little mannerisms, her hospitality.
I think of all the future things we will both miss out on. Her seeing Dusty graduate from high school. Cody getting married. Rhett growing up.
I will miss out on having a mom to turn to.

Something fun


Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Last Wish

Last Wish

Since all that I can ever do for thee
Is to do nothing, then my prayer must be
That thou mayst never guess nor see
The all-endured this nothing done cost me.

Edward, Earl of Lytton

Remember

REMEMBER

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning to stay.
Remember me when no more day to day
You tell me of our future that you planned;
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel or pray
Yet if you should forget me for awhile
And afterwards, remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestigo of the thoughts that once I had
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than you should remember and be sad.

Christina Georgina Rossetti

Would anyone care?

Would anyone care if I just disappeared? Wonder if anyone would miss me? Guess I'm not doing as well as I thought.
Today is November 19th.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

End of November?

Are we coming to the end of November already? Hard to believe that this is the 18th already. Tomorrow will be the one month anniversary of my mother's death.
Things are getting better, sort of. Still go through bouts of wanting to cry uncontrollably, but haven't yet.

Schooling. Hmmmm. Learning is definately going on. Good thing it isn't structured. We would not get anything done.
Dusty (my 11 year old) is raking leaves in the neighbourhood to earn some cash. He is trying to figure out how to build a go-cart and wants to learn to weld. An 11 year old with a torch. Wonder if I dare.
My 19 year old (well almost 19, will be on the 26th) quit his job. My sanity has returned somewhat. My body is slowly realizing that I don't have to get up at 2 am and again at 6 am. He still spends most of his time playing the bass and writing. Wonder how long will I have to wait til I see something in print.
My 3 almost 4 year old (Rhett) is into everything as usual. He is sad that he doesn't get to play with grasshoppers anymore so I bought him little plastic ones. Not the same, I know. He too, with the help of his brother's, has discovered the fun of playing with airsoft pistols. They have a target in the backyard.
He is learning more Japanese and its fun to watch the baffled look on people's faces because they can only understand part of his sentences.
We are going to start on reading the Iliad and Odyssey.
Well, I am off to the store to buy a non low flow toilet thingy. Yes, I said thingy. Installed a low flow system thinking it would be better...but NOOOOOOOO! Its been a pain in the butt ever since. Oh, and can't forget the ferret food.

Jaa ne

Friday, November 14, 2008

Life

Things are still a little bumpy. I think that I am fine, then I take a turn for the worse. Just part of life. I decided to take a break from getting my mom's things done. Everyone can wait.
If anyone is coming into to this late...go find the entry: Five Minutes.

Right now I am listening to The Calling's Wherever You Will Go.
Eating: Oatmeal loaded with butter.
Drinking: Orange Spice Tea
Getting ready to: Create more tables for work. Have to finish 22 frames.
Today: I am taking my boys out to lunch.

We had our first snow fall in the metro area. It started off slow and then picked up speed. I was out at 2:30 this morning on Pena Blvd which is the main highway to DIA and it was pretty windy and kicking the snow up. Then it just stopped. It was like it hit a wall partway to DIA. It was cool. Of course on the way back it wasn't really snowing at all. I got home at 3:30 and there were just a couple of big flakes. I wake up and boom...snow everywhere. Not really enough to last long and of course it's already melting.
Hopefully there will be a big snowstorm and I will be able to bring out the snowboards out locally instead of going up to the mountains. I'm cheap. We do need new boots though.

Well, its time to get started with work so I can get it done and over with.

Jaa ne

Sunday, November 2, 2008

My Life

In an earlier post, I told a little about myself. Not much because really there isn't much to tell. It was just an overview with some little tidbit. So if you want to know what they were, you have to go back and read the posts.

Anyway.

Everyone is fascinated by the things I pick up. I love to learn new things so I want to experience as much as possible.
I always tell people my most favourite job was for a first call service. This service transports the deceased from one place to another such as a nursing home to a mortuary. I know, I'm morbid. But the care that these ones receive is amazing. They may be deceased, but they are still treated with respect. Although we, who drove the vans, do love to joke and play pranks.
I've been around bounty hunters (oops politically correct term...skip tracers), my father and grandfather were both in the business. I learned martial arts thru my father along with fire arms. The swords are strictly my own.
Oh, another favourite. The time I worked for a group of male strippers. I was their driver, took care of music, lighting, etc when they did group parties. When they did private parties, they were on their own. Learned a lot when I hit the gym with them. Almost made it to Ms Malibu and Ms Tropicana one year with their help. I did want to lose tho. Too much responsibility and time.
Modelling was fun...until it came time to work. Just kidding. An experience that I may or may not want to go through again.
Then there are the lesser jobs...Toys R Us, Shopper for a grocery store for a home delivery service. Oh and the house cleaning and nanny jobs.
Along with things I have done in my life...
Drum with a Native American group in college.
Danced in pow wows.
Sang for a bit...didn't make any money. Hey Sean D if you read this...I did get better from when you and Steve used to know me.
Learned how to play the violin, drums, piano. I am working on the Cello.

String theory still eludes me. I can get the concept...its just...it doesn't really make sense to me. I keep telling people, "I AM NOT A SCIENCE NERD!"

Of course now I do massage and herbs. Its still a challenge for me so I will stick with it for now. I am also learning AutoCAD. That too is a challenge.

Ok, so there is a bit more about me. Maybe next time I'll write about the scar I have on my side from when I got shot.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Direction

I had a vision on how this blog was supposed to be. I put in the description Life's Journey and the Road Less Travelled. My friends know that I don't take the easy way nor am I a follower. I don't believe in destiny. Destiny is the end of the road you choose to take. I don't believe in fate. Fate is the twists and turns in life that you also choose. The outcome is all based on what we want in life and how we perceive things. Are you a "glass half full" type person or the "glass half empty" type person. Something wonderful could be sitting right in front, arms reach, but because of our perception we will either see it as wonderful, something bad, or miss it all together.
I'm guilty of this. Let something wonderful slip through my hands more than once. But I recognize it now. Change my perception and see things differently. It took me awhile to do this. It doesn't happen overnight and it involves something most people don't want to do. Letting go of the past and negative thoughts and emotions.
As an empath, I am all about feelings and emotions. I attatch certain events with emotions and they stay buried deep inside. Letting go of those can be quite an experience. I like that I am free to explore without the baggage I used to carry around.
Everyone has something in their past that they will always carry around, but will it be a negative experience or a positive one?
I like to think of myself as a positive person...of course I do have my issues. Yes...issues...They are fun aren't they. Ever meet a dark and morbid person who had a positive outlook?

Direction...it changes all the time. Life changes all the time.