Did you ever...

Did you ever think that you could accomplish anything only to find out that you can't? Did you ever feel that you are on top of the world only to find out that you are at the bottom of the pile? I think that is where I am now. I know...you are thinking "Oh no. Not another pity party for her." Actually its not a pity party. I'm done with the pity. I know it doesn't get me anywhere and I know people don't want to hear it.

Anyway...

I was working on the basement getting it all packed but I have to do it in spurts. I don't know what it is, but something is setting off my allergies really bad. So it has set me back a couple of days. I don't know whether to finish the rest of the house on schedule and come back to the basement or to just finish the basement and let it take longer to pack the rest of the house.
On top of that, Dusty is getting sick. I think it is his allergies compounded by whatever is in the basement and is now having a hard time breathing.
Off to the doctor's on Monday to get that taken care of. Right now I have him in the shower with some eucalyptus oil to help clear up some of the breathing problems. I am going to make him a little pillow with flax seed mixed with eucalyptus and peppermint. If it gets worse then I will have him inhale some smoke from a lung cleanse herb.

I found some papers that my mom had stashed away. I have someone coming to translate them for me. I think one is an official marriage license from Japan as well as one in English. The others I am not sure. I think one may have something to do with her brother whom I have spent the last 10 years looking for. I really want to just go to Japan and search for him. I think that it would be much easier than putting ads in newspapers or online sites.
It has been seven months since the accident. I still miss her terribly.

The house goes on the market on June 1st. We don't really expect it to sell. The market is horrible here.
Too bad it tanked.

So that is where I am at now.
I have most of the basement done, part of my bedroom done, all of the books done. (That was a chore in itself. We can open a small library.) Oh and the garage is mostly done.
This weekend we are removing the wallpaper and painting. I wonder how many coats of primer is it going to take to cover a dark blue wall?

Destressing

I do have to say that in the past 9 months I have had my fair share of stress. I think I have hit all the markers for that stress test doctors give. I miscarried, my husband decided that he no longer wanted to be married to me (then keeps changing his mind.), my mother passed away, I was diagnosed with a heart problem and had to be on meds, my oldest son moved away, and now I am moving...oh and can't forget the job that I was supposed to start, but never quite did.
I don't think I have had time to process everything that has been going on.

So I have set out to find a way to destress. I know it really isn't possible at the moment since I have to pack up the house and get it ready to put up for sale within a week or so. (And here I am on the computer writing...)
I would love to get a massage. I could really use one. I would love to just sit and draw or paint. Veg out in the backyard watching the birds and squirrels.
I'm thinking of getting a loom and a spinning wheel. I think that would be a wonderful de-stressing tool. Not to mention it would be great for the business I want to start. I already have a lot of yarn I've spun. I have some wool that is ready to dye and be spun. I have to decide what colour. I also have to find the time...
I got a book from the library on Chinese knot tying. I've always found it fascinating so I figure I'd give it a try.
I really hope the library in Boise is as good as the one here. Guess that will be one of the things to check out when we drive up there at the end of the month.

Well, times awasting...back to packing.

Where are all the children...

Blog: 5/15/09

I am wondering where all the children are. It is noon. It is sunny. It is a beautiful day outside. I am sitting here at the park and there is only one other child out here besides my four year old son. I know the older children are at school, but where are the younger ones. This neighbourhood has a lot of children in it…I’ve seen them.
How can children be indoors on a beautiful day like this? I think it inhumane. I should be seeing children running in the huge grassy area here or zipping down the slides.
It makes me sad that my little one has no one to play with. His older brother is off with friends and his oldest moved to Tacoma four days ago. He misses him terribly.
I think about how children today are stuck more indoors not getting enough exercise and sunlight. How children are losing their playtime because of busy schedules and such.
I would love to see playgrounds full of children, laughing and running. Making up stories and pretending and not t.v. based play or characters. I would love to see children outside and not stuck indoors playing video games or stuck in front of the television with mindless blank stares on their faces like a zombie had eaten their brains.

Another adventure...

The family and I are moving to Boise Idaho at the end of June. Shocker!!! Me, who spent 19 years trying to get back to Aurora Colorado is now moving away.
There are several reasons for this:

1. It is really hard to stay here when everything reminds me of my mom. I had to drive by the place she had been hit and all I could think about was her lying in the street, bleeding and all those questions I still have bottled up inside. I don't think I can heal while staying here.

2. Its a less expensive cost of living there.

3. Its closer to Tacoma than Denver. I know...why not just move to Tacoma. At this point I am relying on someone else for help so I have to go to Boise...not a perfect situation.

There are some good things though. The homeschool laws there are awesome. There are lots of places for me and the boys to explore. Hopefully I will have my business up and running within a couple of months and then I can stand on my own two feet. Its only 7 hours to Tacoma and 11 hours to Denver. I can handle that.

I think I am more trying to convince myself than anyone else.