Embracing oneself

The other day I got a little questionnaire and one of the things on it was: What do you like least about yourself?
My answer was, why do I have to not like something about myself? I'm sure there are things that I don't, but I never really thought about it. Things that I probably would change, maybe. Such as lose weight. Things I would adjust, like, not feel so much. But I don't think there is anything I don't like about myself.
I think people tend to dwell on the negative about themselves instead of the positive. I overhear conversations where someone will say that they hate "(insert something here) ." I rarely hear I really love "(insert)" about myself. If they did, I think there would be a lot more happiness around. If we look at the positive in ourselves, we notice the positive in others. If we are negative about ourselves, we see the negative in others.
In this society, it is difficult to do that since we are constantly bombarded by negative things. Pictures of skinny women who are airbrushed to look beautiful that makes people think they want to be like them...
The news with mostly negative things in it...death, destruction, someone hurting someone.
T.v. shows that usually portray the bad things in life. Even reality shows that pit one person against another.

Can you look at yourself and think, "I love myself just the way I am."?
If no, is it something you can change? If you cannot change it, can you find something good about it? If you cannot find anything good about it, can you overlook that one part and see yourself as a whole?

I love meeting people. I am usually viewed as stand offish and I suppose I am to an extent. Sometimes people overwhelm me so I have to adjust when I meet someone new especially in a crowd. I try to find something good in each person that I meet and I like that with each person, I take away something positive.

Passing of a legacy

I often wonder what people will remember of me when I am gone. My mother was well remembered and at her memorial, people were able to comment of what they remembered of her. Most of it was that she was a hard worker, a good friend, humble...
She tried.
Another person I looked up to just passed away. His students remember him for being generous, full of knowledge and willing to help.
My mother passed on to me ideals that most mothers leave their children. She left me my heritage of being Japanese. To be proud of what I am. I remember growing up and being made fun of for being Japanese and having dark skin.
My mentor passed on a love of herbs and to be generous with my knowledge. What good is the knowledge of being able to help someone if it is not shared freely?
I want my children and friends to be able to have fond memories of me also. I want to impart my knowledge onto them if they so choose to accept.
I wonder if they will not only think good things of me...or bad...but also the things that I have shared with them?

Keeping Busy

Time has a way of getting away from me. Its already towards the end of February. In a little over a month, my oldest son will be moving away to the state of Washington. All I can hope is that I have taught him to be able to take care of himself well in any situation. I cannot think of this as a loss. I have lost too many thing in the past few months. Another chapter of my life. Like graduating high school, getting married...having my firstborn child and now watching him go off to start his own life.

Learning around here goes on all the time. We each have been doing different projects. Right now Rhett is learning the ins and outs of video games. It is really sad when a four year old can beat you in video games. But then they have never been my favourite things. I do better at puzzles than games that make you complete tasks and walk all over the place. I get bored very easily. They have also been playing with a race track that we got at a thrift store pretty cheap. Oh the endless possibilities with that one. They have also been on the look out for a train set.
Its been warming up here little by little. I was still hoping for the one big snowstorm so we could bring out the snowboards. We shall see. One more month.
We will start seeds buying seeds soon so we can start them in planters. I have plans for my garden, now only if it will cooperate. I really hate the soil out here as it is mostly clay. I am going to see if Dusty can build me a solar powered greenhouse. He is getting good at building things. I can't wait to pose the problem to him to see what he comes up with. I want to be able to have herbs all year round outdoors.
I am going to study to take the Japanese Proficiency test. I think it will be the Kanji recognition that will kill me. Over 2,000 characters. Kana is not so hard. I told Dusty that he has to study to take it also. He was not so thrilled. I told him after that, I will teach him Spanish and French.

Not much else has been going on. I have been missing my mother horribly, but I also know my boys miss her too.