Me and my music

Right now I am listening to B'z. Its a usual thing. They are a Japanese group, AWESOME. I know most wont get the lyrics (that's what google is for...), but they do sound great. The tempo, the sound of his voice, the guitar. They are the first Asian group to get a spot on Hollywood Rock Walk. Tak Matsumoto, B'z guitarist, is a signature artist for Gibson and has several limited editions made in his honour.
Anyway...
Music is healing or can be. For me it is a way to drown out emotions. Not mine...others. Well, it also helps so that my emotions don't overwhelm others also at times. So I am seldom without music if I know I am going into a crowded place. I'm usually the only one who is wearing headphones in a bar or nightclub. Go figure. The only time I go somewhere without my tunes is if I know I am with someone safe. Someone who can act as a buffer so I am not overwhelmed at times. Or if I am in a place where my music is totally not appropriate.

I went to my mother's memorial and there were so many people. Music totally not appropriate. One of my friends doesn't quite understand what its like for me. But she was my buffer that day. Try as I did, it was overwhelming and while I was trying to keep a straight face and not cry, not let the emotions overwhelm me, she took the run off. I think she was fine for about the first 5 minutes or so.

My music ranges from really soft stuff to Classical to Pop to JPop, Grunge to heavy metal type stuff. I think it depends on the situation I am in that chooses the type of music that helps me.

What's in a name?

So now Cody, my oldest, is saying he likes the name Hageshii for Rhett. Rhett means enthusiastic, fervour. That is what Hageshii means also along with fiery. However, the Kanji can mean violent so we have to be careful how it is written. Since Cody is the one who gave Rhett his name when he was born, I suppose it would be his right to also give him his Japanese name.
Somewhere in Japan is my mother's brother. After looking for him for a number of years, we still haven't been able to find him. I will continue to look tho. I wonder about him, wonder if I have cousins, wonder if he ever thought about my mother after she left Japan.
His name is Kazuo Araki. Their mother's name was Tome and their father's name was Yashio.
Cody wants to take on the last name of Araki legally. I do not have a problem with this as I would like to hyphenate my last name to include it also.

Stones

I love stones, crystals, minerals, etc. Each one has different properties and qualities. Crystals are extremely fascinating to me. I love to figure out how many sides each one has. I used to collect geodes with amethyst inside. I even had a garnet crystal at one time. I still have an uncut blue topaz shard that I have had for a very long time. Probably about 25 years now. The other stone I am most fond of is one my father got for me. It's an Apache Tear. I've had that one for about 30 years. I've collected my own over the years and made them mine, but the first is special.

I make necklaces and bracelets with different stones. I usually end up giving them as gifts. I am pretty good at matching people with stones.
Everything has a vibration. We have a vibration, the stones have their own vibration, the food we eat has a vibration. Our vibrations mingle with the vibrations of other things and they either help or hinder. A negative reaction is just a vibration that interferes with our vibration. If we can adjust our frequency to that of the objects, then we are in harmony with it.
Different stones can adjust to our vibrations to help heal, they absorb energy, and can help deflect negative energy from powerlines, computers, digital clocks near beds and people. They can also be used to make an environment rich in negative ions.

My favourite stones to use are amethyst, hemetite, lapis and malachite. When I can get a supply, amber. I love the various colours that it comes in and they have a deep rich resonance.

What are we up to today...

Or should I say, "What we should be up to today..."
I was researching Japanese names.
My mom was supposed to give Rhett a name in Japanese. We had kind of settled on Yugure, which means Darkness or the time between light and dark, twilight. Dusty thinks Tatsumaki is a better one because it means Tornado and that is exactly what Rhett is. Our family name is Araki. Dusty's name is Senshi which means Warrior. Cody's is Shin'ichi which means Faithful first son or One truth.
I'm supposed to be looking for a job, but its depressing. I'm supposed to be cleaning the house, but there is only so much time that I can spend doing that. It seems that I am constantly cleaning.

Dusty is supposed to be taking his CAT-9 test. But he's been playing with his little brother. They've been having fun so I am not worried about the test. Although I kind of listed our beginning school year as January 1st and I have to take in our NOI 2 weeks before then...hmmm. I have seemed to pass the due date. Oh well.

Rhett, of course has the run of the house. We don't do any real type of schooling with any of the boys, but him especially unless he asks for it. Although he's been wanting to learn how to knit and sew. He has been spending his day flittering here and there. Playing with magnets and my sewing pins. He discovered that a magnet will pick them all up. He and Dusty have been making little figures with a roll of magnets and pretending they are different things. He has also been playing with a flashlight.

O.k. So now Dusty is doing his test and grumbling. He's not liking it this year. Last time he thought it was great. Next time we will probably have the assessment done instead.
I cleaned the kitchen and am going to update my resume for preschool teacher instead of massage therapy.
And Rhett is happily watching the Backyardigans on a dvd we got from the library.

Our day is not over yet. We shall see what mischief we can conjure up by the days end.

Just Breathe

I figured out that I've been walking around holding my breath. Things kept going wrong and it seems that I was holding my breath waiting for the next thing to happen. I was getting tired, health problems were starting to flare and I kept wondering why. Then I noticed that I wasn't really breathing.
Breathing right enables the body to get enough oxygen, massages internal organs and stimulates organ function. It also helps with the central nervous system, stress, removes waste from the blood. It also makes our lungs strong. If our lungs are weak, it gives way to disease. It also can really mess up the back and shoulder muscles.
So what I had to start doing is just breathe.

Me

I picked up writing again. I figured it was about time. My main goal is to write small articles to sell. But I also had a story idea a couple of years ago that I wrote down buy never got to finish.
Writing is a great way to creatively get rid of frustrations, anger, sadness, etc. I loved writing stories since I was old enough to hold a pencil. It was my way of relating to a world I didn't quite fit into. A way of releasing frustration of being a child that was not quite understood. I loved it. It was the same way with books. It was a way of escape for me. I had friends in books.
Sad isn't it?
Then I had an English teacher in high school that loved my writings. He actually took the time to read them and made comments on what I wrote. Someone who saw a lonely person with talent. He encouraged me immensely.
Every spare moment I had I would write. I still have most of them too. Stories that I started then gave up. My problem is is if I see the ending of the story, I get bored with it. I know the ending, why finish it? I have to break out to that habit.
The one that I am writing now...I have no clue of the ending. Actually I don't know what direction I want to go with it. I'm still in the early stages. But I will not figure out the ending til I am there. Maybe I will be able to finish it this time.

My Boys

I never fully introduced my boys. As with all parents, I can say my boys are wonderful.
My oldest is now 19 years old. He's charming, sarcastic, has dry wit and humour. He can be morbid with the best of them...including me. He's been my sparring partner for years. But now he is afraid he will hurt me so we don't do as much as we used to.
He loves learning about Japanese history, loves to write stories, loves music. He has two bass guitars and a drum set. He has taught himself how to play by trial and error, watching, listening and practice. He collects swords and knives.
Over all he is a wonderful young man who is respectful of others, lets things roll off when someone tries to offend him.

My 11 year old is outgoing, fun and sensitive. He loves helping people and goes out of his way to do so. He also loves taking things apart to find out how they work. He has the entreprenuer spirit and tries to find ways to make money on his own for the things he wants. He loves mysteries. He can spend hours playing a computer games with a whodunit theme. He also loves simulators. He reads a variety of books, his favourite for a while as by Erin Hunter. Now he just kind of reads whatever he finds interesting. He also loves his legos. He spends some time building and coming up with new things.

My youngest at 3, getting ready to turn 4, is...well at the moment, moody. He misses the warmer months where he could run outside catching bugs. He misses the grasshoppers and ants. He misses chasing butterflies. I tell him to chase snowflakes. He loves it when it does snow. He loves building things with blocks. He loves playing with the hammer and screwdriver. He tries to "fix" our steps leading to the deck all the time, even putting new nails in it so it doesn't wobble.
He loves being read to and his favourite book is Inai Inai BA which is Peek a Boo in Japanese. Its a cute board book that he knows by heart. His other favourites are the Berenstain Bears, The Bear Snores On and the other books that belong in that series. He loves playing video games and is amazing at them. He speaks in both Japanese and English.
He loves trying new things and practically shows no fear. That can be scary sometimes especially when he is jumping off something particularly high, yelling "mommy catch me!" before I really ahve a chance to turn around.

So those are my boys. Happy, loving, moody, special and growing up too fast.