Land of the Snow Wolf

A thanks to an inconsiderate pet owner and a goodbye to a dear friend.

2010-05-28T11:33:00.007-06:00

I'd like to thank the inconsiderate pet owner who almost two year ago abandoned their beautiful cat.

One summer night while I was sitting in my living room I noticed a long haired Siamese sitting on our window sill. When I went out to see it, it jumped off and ran away.
Two evenings later, Dusty was riding his bike around the neighbourhood and Rhett and I were playing outside. Dusty comes riding up with the same cat following him. Kitty was very friendly and came rubbing up against us. She was thin and filthy. We took her in and gave her a bath thinking we'd find out who owned her. No one claimed to have "lost" her over the next few days so we named her Tao and she became a part of our family.
She was a total character. She didn't want us to sleep and meowed incessantly. She demanded that her food bowl be filled even if there was food already in there. She didn't like to be left alone and would bug you till you pet her. She slept in the most peculiar places, usually somewhere in our way like kitchen chairs, on the couch or on top of my wool. She was a good mouser and gave us the "entertainment" of watching her catch mice that happened to wander into the house. She was patient, loving and had this wise look in her face.

I'd like to thank you inconsiderate pet owner for if you had been responsible you would have taken her to the humane society or the pound and we wouldn't have had the wonderful opportunity to spend the past two years with this beautiful cat. She took her last breath in my arms last night.

And thank you Tao Kitty for choosing us as your family that one summer's eve. Thank you for the patience you showed Rhett when he pestered you to no end and you never bit or scratched. I am sorry that I didn't realize something was wrong three days ago when you came to me while the kids and I were playing and you just stared at me. I should have. You will be missed lovely Tao.

Blog tip of the day!

2010-04-01T18:38:00.002-06:00

Stay away from playplaces of questionable establishments!

So Rhett has been fighting an illness for about 2 weeks now. And since we inhabit the same domicile...It was inevitable that I get whatever he is fighting. It is a losing battle by the way. Why my tip of the day? Because it was at a playplace about two weeks ago I am sure the little bug picked up a bug while waiting for my now soon to be ex (stbx) was getting his driver's license. After seven years he finally decides to get one. BLEH. Thorn in my side. But that is another story. I will refrain from completely annihilating him by written word. That may come later.

So, nice warming teas that will fight off infections and help with congestion:
Cinnamon ginger tea. Sounds gross right? It actually tastes really good.
Sweet Basil tea. Yummy.

Other good remedies:
Bay leaf as a poultice on the chest to relieve bronchitis and coughs. (I think I will try this one tonight.)
Black pepper (freshly ground) and honey is supposed to also relieve cough symptoms and congestion.

Well I shall go take my little sick self (mentally and physically) off to go play with the kidlet. He is begging to do some semblance of school work. And here the other day he was telling me that it is his job to play all the time and playing involved video games...all the time. See what happens when older brother takes over the games? Little brother begs for school work.

Blog tip of the day!

2010-03-31T17:35:00.002-06:00

Stay off of Facebook.

Home made cleaners.

I tend to use less or non-toxic cleaners for around the house. I get migraines when I use commercial stuff with lots of fragrances so I try to make as much as I can.

One of my favourites is a something similar to softscrub. Its great for cleaning the oven or glass stove tops.
Mix 2 parts baking soda to 1 part dish liquid or Dr. Bronners soap then add a little bit of water. Mix well and let sit for a couple of minutes.

Window cleaner/household cleaner
Mix this in a large spray bottle.
Add white vinegar to fill 1/3 of the bottle, add a squirt of dish liquid, add about 1/4 cup rubbing alcohol then fill with water.

Maybe I will come up with some others later...

2010-03-31T13:58:00.002-06:00

So here we are at the beginning of April. Even though I started several blogs in March, they never got published. Hmmm, I wonder why?

Anyhow.
New month new projects.
Out of the 52 project challenge I completed several.
Cleaned 4 fleeces, I have 3 left to do.
Finished a pair of knitted slippers.
Have 5 skeins of handspun yarn for my stash or sale.
Washed almost all the fabric I had sitting in a tote so I can start using it to make cloth books and other things.
I am at 40/52...12 completed projects.
Its slow going.

At the moment I am also looking for a job outside of the home. The first in eight years. I usually worked from home part time as a massage therapist and herbalist. But now I need to earn money to move the boys and me back home to Colorado. Another reason my projects have been going slow.
Life gets too complicated...

Ack! Its the beginning of February!

2010-02-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go?
So, this is what we've been up to...
Dusty received a microscope from my best friend Thea. We've been friends since like the eighth grade. It is an awesome scope! So on to biology. Dusty is really interested in forensics so we thought this would be a good place for him to start. After he gets the basics of biology done he will have a biology pack from Labpaq as well as a forensic class from the same place. Thank goodness for Vet Med class, my EMT and detective friends in San Diego area or I'd never be able to keep up.
Of course with advanced Science you have to have the math that goes along with it. So we have been hitting the books.

Rhett is working on his reading skills...well after I have to pry him away from the video games. Thanks dad for buying him Pikmin 2 the obsession.
He loves math, science, and art. Not so much in the writing the department.

I've completed three projects out of the 52 and working on two more. They seem to keep piling up. When I complete one then something happens and I end up with more. Oh well, at least I haven't bought anything except for some knitting needles so I can do more than one project at a time...
My next project is finishing the socks I started, finish spinning the llama fiber for a pair of socks (then knitting those socks), making a pair of mittens for Rhett, then sorting out my fabric stash to make some easy crafts for Rhett. All those for the month of February.

I am still working on my Japanese so I can take the proficiency test. If only my brain would get in gear. Depression really sucks. I know I can't do anything to change the past, but moving ahead seems so hard too. It seems all my brain function is used to just get through the day.

Well today seems to be sunny. Its still cold here, just above freezing. I can't wait til I can put in a garden and get outside.
Off to do some knitting and cleaning.

The boys school work

2010-01-04T17:40:00.002-07:00

Today Rhett had a formal lesson in reading. He usually just goes around asking us to spell things for him and many times he will use the magnetic letters on the fridge to spell it back. I read to him quite a bit and he has gotten into the Dirk Bones series by Doug Cushman. He also loves Beatrix Potter.
After that he painted with watercolours. I am going to bind them into a book for him.

Dusty read about Queen Hatsheput. Did you know that she reined during the time Moses and the Isrealites wandered in the wilderness?
He's been reading books by Erin Hunter as well and welding. I wonder if he can learn to weld without blowing up the place??? Ha! I know he is reading this.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

52 Weeks-52 Projects

2010-01-04T10:22:00.002-07:00

One of the sites that I frequent has a challenge going on. Its finish a project a week for a year. Its supposed to help motivate some of us to get creative and finish some of the things we've got going on. Some wondered if they had enough stuff to do 52 projects and I'm thinking I need to do more than one a week to finish all of my projects especially since I want to open up a shop here in the spring at the local farmer's market.
So I am set to finish the projects that I actually promised a couple of friends that I would send them a few things. Then finish what I promised Dusty. I told Rhett I'd make him a pair of mittens. Then all open projects. I think I have enough to keep me busy for awhile. ; )

I am hoping that there will be someone giving away fleece again come spring/summer when all the critters are shorn. I don't mind buying, but until I get the shop up and running and start turning a profit...free is good.

Its finally done

2009-11-25T20:49:00.002-07:00

Rhett was invited to a costume party and of course me being me would not go out and buy him one. Why should I? So I decided to torture myself and make him one.
I wanted to make him a Japanese outfit. It has Hakama pants, kosode and jacket.
Now, I really can't sew. I like to think I can, but I really do detest it. I am not that methodical. I do not like to do things in order and sewing makes me do things in order.

I don't think it came out all that bad. My sewing machine hates me and made sure the thread broke about every 30 seconds or so. It took me such a long time to get the jacket done whereas I had no problem with the pants.
I would have made Rhett dress up, but he fell asleep on me. I was even tempted to wake him up and make him try it on. Oh well. I shall get pictures of him tomorrow at the party.

Unschooling method (yes, its a rant)

2009-11-25T15:20:00.003-07:00

This is in response to those who tell me: "I know some unschoolers and they just let their children play video games all day, every day. They do absolutely nothing with their kids..."

I love unschooling and I realize that it is not for everyone. It does take a leap of faith to believe that your children will learn while letting them follow their own interests.
It may look like, to others especially critical ones, that my children do nothing all day. It may look like they play games all day or are on the computer all day. However, they are not with us all day. My four year old does play quite a bit of games but he also tells the most amazing stories from imagination, is learning to read, can recite songs as well as make some up on his own, is learning about different types of bugs, learning to sew, knows how to needle felt as well as wet felt and is learning to crochet. He is learning to read in Japanese, loves to help me cook, plays with the dogs, gardens and collect pieces of wood that he calls swords. This is pretty much on his own without my coaxing, coaching or making him sit at a table for hours on end.

My older son has a wealth of interests although you wouldn't think that with the amount of time he spends on Facebook or texting his friends. He wants to write a book, he is interested in atvs, motorbikes, horses, taking things apart, and music. He does awesome in public speaking and goes out of his way to help people.

Most unschoolers are not doing nothing all day. It may seem like it but there is usually a lot more learning going on than they let on and unless you spend 24/7 with one, you will not know it.
So before a person says: "I know an unschooler and they do absolutely nothing..." Make sure you have your facts straight and hard evidence before you start ranting about how the parents are ruining their children by this method and they are neglectful. It just might stop some animosity from growing.
Oh~I'm sure there are some homeschooling parents out there that do neglect their children and they are the ones that get the most publicity because they are the ones who get in the news. However, they are really few and far between.

Projects

2009-11-06T14:17:00.007-07:00

Keeping busy and putting my mind to other things has been an obsession. If I stop to think I cry so I try not to think. I miss my mom. Its hard not to wish the person who hit her is suffering as much as I am. But I know she has her own thoughts and feelings to live with. Forgiveness...I am really trying.

So here are some of the projects that I have been working on lately. I made another drop spindle so I can work on two projects instead of waiting to clear one spindle before starting on another. I want to make a top whorl spindle next.

I love how the green dye came out. In one bath I ended up with three shades of green due to the Ascorbic Acid I added to it. This is sheep wool from an unknown donor. I got a couple of bags of wool from a wonderful person off of Craig's list.

Yes, before you ask, that is a drop spindle made from tinkertoy parts. It works fabulously too. This is a mixture of white and blonde from an llama. Another wonderful find off of Craig's list. Eight bags of llama fleece of varying colour.

Here is a finished hank of the green. I used food colouring. I was thinking of raiding a neighbours walnut tree, but then I thought...I already have some beautiful natural brown wool and llama fleece. I was trying to dig up some yellow dock that grows in the area, but they are hard to get out. I hear they make a vibrant yellowish orange. I suppose I should just try a little harder.

I am going to dye this using tumeric. I want to see the difference between tumeric and the dock root once I get it.

I am not much of a knitter or crocheter. I am learning to knit but I am slow and clumsy and forget where I am at often. I did make my little one some socks to run around the house in. They were full of mistakes, but of course he didn't mind. He watched me make them so he thought they were very special and each day he would ask me if they were done yet.
He loves to help me spin as he spins the spindle while I draft the roving. He also loves to play with the fiber and is getting quite good at needle felting.

Herb 101...for Neil. =) Pt.1

2009-10-28T19:52:00.002-06:00

You can take herbs in several forms, but the basic ones are teas (infusion), decoctions or syrups.
To make a simple tea using a single herb you would mix 1 oz of herb to 1 pint of boiling water. Infusions would be used for light herbs such as leaves, berries, flowers, etc.

Decoctions are used for harder materials such as twigs, bark, etc. The measurements are the same: 1 oz herb to 1 pint of water. Place herbs into a glass pot pour cold water over the herb then gradually bring to a boil. Boil for at least 15 minutes although certain herbs will require longer.

Syrups are basically a sugar concentrate that has reached saturation point. Syrups can be made and stored separately then add a dry herb or tincture to it or you could make an herbal syrup. For an herbal syrup, you would begin with a concentrated herb liquid (infusion or decoction) at least 1 pt of liquid...so take 2 pts of herb liquid and simmer it til it is down to a half to concentrate it. Add 1-2 ozs of honey and 1-2 ozs of vegetable (food grade) glycerine.

Local First Day of School

2009-09-02T15:11:00.002-06:00

August 31st was the first day of school for many of the children around here. While they were lined up for the bus early in the morning, my son Dusty was walking to the place he has come to love. Hidden Valley Ranch. They raise Paint horses and he goes there two days a week to work in exchange for riding privileges.
His spirit free and happy doing what he enjoys, while the numerous children looked sort of downcast and tired for their first day. I am sure they were wishing that the summer had not ended.
As for Rhett's day, we spent the day in the garden, reading books and playing hide and seek. We caught grasshoppers and looked for a Praying Mantis that had found its way into our yard.
He is asking me to spell everything for him now, so we spend the days spelling out words and of course I must not go fast or he tells me to "do it more slowly..." You can see his little mind working as he tries to picture the letter in his mind as I spell it out.

So while the children were sitting at desks inside a building, my boys were outside enjoying the things they do best...being themselves, learning the way they want and what they want. I feel this is part of raising a holistically healthy child.

Its the end of August already???

2009-08-28T18:21:00.002-06:00

We have been here for 2 months. I am sorry to those I promised to drop a line to but haven't yet.

So much has happened. Cody is back home. YaY!!! He is not so happy though. I told him to take this time to solidify his plans for the future. If it means school, then go to school. If he wants to learn a trade, then do so. He has the time right now.

School is starting next week for the locals here. I hear mixed reviews from parents and children alike.
I love the fact that my children will be kept out of the massive crowds at the schools and have the freedom to pursuit their likes. One of the girls who also volunteers at the ranch has to quit even though she homeschools. Dusty said something about her not having time now that school is starting again. So I am thinking virtual school or her parents are pretty strict. Which is ok if that is what fits their family. I think it kind of sad that she loves being around horses and cannot be even though she is homeschooled.

When Dusty is working at the horse ranch, Rhett and I take long walks by the canal. It is supposedly illegal to swim in the canal because of dangerous undercurrents. But there is a place where we can go down to a sandy spot that is pretty level. I let Rhett go up to his knees. The water is still pretty cold. We have been finding all sorts of interesting things in the water from pond skaters to water snails. He loves to throw rocks in the water. Its quite a relaxing way to spend the mornings.

Most of our days are spent playing in the backyard, taking walks and sitting in the garden reading books. We venture out to the library once a week and spend a couple of hours there where he plays with other children and the library's pets. They have such a cute guinea pig named CoCo that Rhett is quite fond of.

Soon we will begin visiting the local flora and fauna. There is a place called Bogus Basin that is supposed to be a great place to go hiking. The downtown parks are supposed to be really nice as well. We still have to visit the nature center and zoo here. Supposedly the first Thursday of the month are free days at the museums and such so we shall see.

We are still adapting and Rhett talks about the "pink" house often. Especially how he had to leave his toys there. I hope to replace them soon, I know he is sad about that. I am sad as well. I had to leave some things that were important to me. I know they can be replaced, but not the sentiment.
Life is full of disappointing things, I just have to adjust and move along.

Our New Library

2009-07-17T23:51:00.002-06:00

I really miss the library in Aurora. The Smoky Hill Branch was the most awesome library I've been too. It was mostly due to Woody's Coffee and Smoothie shop within it. He had really tasty strawberry truffle smoothies and on cold days I loved to get a caramel cider.
The library we go to now is pretty small. The fines are outrageous and they have no coffee shop. I know we were spoiled, not every library has a coffee shop in it. But I do miss the smoothies especially on days like today (103 degrees) and I am craving something sweet.

They do have pets in the library though. They have a guinea pig, a dove, two Australian walking stick bugs, fish, a tree frog and a gecko. They are all down in the children's section of the library.
Rhett fell in love with the guinea pig named Coco. He thinks the dove is sad because they keep her in a cage and she cannot find her babies. I wonder where he got that from...
They have a small playroom with couches and a couple of toys and a few puzzles. We are still learning where things are there and of course they don't have as many books on certain subjects although we can request books from other libraries.

I haven't found many homeschoolers so I've been toying with the idea of putting up a notice on the board there. I'm sure there has to be more than I've already found in the area. This is supposed to be an awesome state to homeschool in with very little regulations. So far no one in the new neighbourhood homeschools their children and the school is a little ways away. There is a performing arts school down the street and an elementary school built within a very ritzy hoa neighbourhood that I think is only for the kids who live in that area. I think I like to keep my children with me so we can explore and have fun rather than have them sit in a classroom getting in trouble for wistfully looking outside and thinking what might have been.

Sad...

2009-07-17T19:42:00.002-06:00

A good friend of my mother's died yesterday morning. She and her daughter always had encouraging words for me and mine when my mother died.
We knew she was dying, but it is never easy. I cannot make it out there for the memorial talk and it makes me sad. They were there for my mom's.

Getting Settled

2009-07-08T23:12:00.003-06:00

We are finally getting settled in the new house. It isn't home yet. I don't know if it will ever feel like it. We are renting so there is only so much we can do and I keep telling the kids what they can and cannot do...
I can't wait til we can buy another house. We are still waiting for the one in Aurora to sell. I hope its soon as we cannot afford two places.

The house here in Boise has three bedrooms and one bathroom. We are trying to make it work. The house's saving grace is that it has a really huge backyard that the kids and pups can play in. The front yard is fenced as well. We have been keeping the kitties inside since they do not know the neighbourhood (and its filled with dogs) and might get lost. Oh! Did I mention that hawks carry off kitties around here???
The backyard also has fruit trees, raspberry canes, lemon balm, mint, sage, rosemary and blackberries. Someone started an herb wheel but never planted the herbs. There are also three raised garden beds one of which I've already planted some things in.

We are on the outskirts (unincorporated) part of Boise. It takes 20 minutes to get to downtown. People in the neighbourhood are pretty friendly here. We had chocolate chip cookies waiting for us on the counter the morning we got here. The neighbour lady across the street from us has a bobcat for a pet. There are backyard horses here as well as chickens. Down the road from us is a huge corn field...

I will have pictures later. Some photographer I am...always forgetting my camera.

On hiatus

2009-06-17T15:45:00.001-06:00

Since I am in the middle of packing and trying to sell the house, I am taking a temporary hiatus. Hopefully when I get settled in Boise, this blog will be more active with some more interesting stuff.

Did you ever...

2009-05-22T22:59:00.002-06:00

Did you ever think that you could accomplish anything only to find out that you can't? Did you ever feel that you are on top of the world only to find out that you are at the bottom of the pile? I think that is where I am now. I know...you are thinking "Oh no. Not another pity party for her." Actually its not a pity party. I'm done with the pity. I know it doesn't get me anywhere and I know people don't want to hear it.

Anyway...

I was working on the basement getting it all packed but I have to do it in spurts. I don't know what it is, but something is setting off my allergies really bad. So it has set me back a couple of days. I don't know whether to finish the rest of the house on schedule and come back to the basement or to just finish the basement and let it take longer to pack the rest of the house.
On top of that, Dusty is getting sick. I think it is his allergies compounded by whatever is in the basement and is now having a hard time breathing.
Off to the doctor's on Monday to get that taken care of. Right now I have him in the shower with some eucalyptus oil to help clear up some of the breathing problems. I am going to make him a little pillow with flax seed mixed with eucalyptus and peppermint. If it gets worse then I will have him inhale some smoke from a lung cleanse herb.

I found some papers that my mom had stashed away. I have someone coming to translate them for me. I think one is an official marriage license from Japan as well as one in English. The others I am not sure. I think one may have something to do with her brother whom I have spent the last 10 years looking for. I really want to just go to Japan and search for him. I think that it would be much easier than putting ads in newspapers or online sites.
It has been seven months since the accident. I still miss her terribly.

The house goes on the market on June 1st. We don't really expect it to sell. The market is horrible here.
Too bad it tanked.

So that is where I am at now.
I have most of the basement done, part of my bedroom done, all of the books done. (That was a chore in itself. We can open a small library.) Oh and the garage is mostly done.
This weekend we are removing the wallpaper and painting. I wonder how many coats of primer is it going to take to cover a dark blue wall?

Destressing

2009-05-20T10:18:00.002-06:00

I do have to say that in the past 9 months I have had my fair share of stress. I think I have hit all the markers for that stress test doctors give. I miscarried, my husband decided that he no longer wanted to be married to me (then keeps changing his mind.), my mother passed away, I was diagnosed with a heart problem and had to be on meds, my oldest son moved away, and now I am moving...oh and can't forget the job that I was supposed to start, but never quite did.
I don't think I have had time to process everything that has been going on.

So I have set out to find a way to destress. I know it really isn't possible at the moment since I have to pack up the house and get it ready to put up for sale within a week or so. (And here I am on the computer writing...)
I would love to get a massage. I could really use one. I would love to just sit and draw or paint. Veg out in the backyard watching the birds and squirrels.
I'm thinking of getting a loom and a spinning wheel. I think that would be a wonderful de-stressing tool. Not to mention it would be great for the business I want to start. I already have a lot of yarn I've spun. I have some wool that is ready to dye and be spun. I have to decide what colour. I also have to find the time...
I got a book from the library on Chinese knot tying. I've always found it fascinating so I figure I'd give it a try.
I really hope the library in Boise is as good as the one here. Guess that will be one of the things to check out when we drive up there at the end of the month.

Well, times awasting...back to packing.

Where are all the children...

2009-05-20T10:08:00.000-06:00

Blog: 5/15/09

I am wondering where all the children are. It is noon. It is sunny. It is a beautiful day outside. I am sitting here at the park and there is only one other child out here besides my four year old son. I know the older children are at school, but where are the younger ones. This neighbourhood has a lot of children in it…I’ve seen them.
How can children be indoors on a beautiful day like this? I think it inhumane. I should be seeing children running in the huge grassy area here or zipping down the slides.
It makes me sad that my little one has no one to play with. His older brother is off with friends and his oldest moved to Tacoma four days ago. He misses him terribly.
I think about how children today are stuck more indoors not getting enough exercise and sunlight. How children are losing their playtime because of busy schedules and such.
I would love to see playgrounds full of children, laughing and running. Making up stories and pretending and not t.v. based play or characters. I would love to see children outside and not stuck indoors playing video games or stuck in front of the television with mindless blank stares on their faces like a zombie had eaten their brains.

Another adventure...

2009-05-08T17:30:00.002-06:00

The family and I are moving to Boise Idaho at the end of June. Shocker!!! Me, who spent 19 years trying to get back to Aurora Colorado is now moving away.
There are several reasons for this:

1. It is really hard to stay here when everything reminds me of my mom. I had to drive by the place she had been hit and all I could think about was her lying in the street, bleeding and all those questions I still have bottled up inside. I don't think I can heal while staying here.

2. Its a less expensive cost of living there.

3. Its closer to Tacoma than Denver. I know...why not just move to Tacoma. At this point I am relying on someone else for help so I have to go to Boise...not a perfect situation.

There are some good things though. The homeschool laws there are awesome. There are lots of places for me and the boys to explore. Hopefully I will have my business up and running within a couple of months and then I can stand on my own two feet. Its only 7 hours to Tacoma and 11 hours to Denver. I can handle that.

I think I am more trying to convince myself than anyone else.

Oh the Whims...

2009-04-20T11:24:00.005-06:00

I love creating things. I love to draw, write, spin, take pictures, play music...
Lately I've taken to dyeing wool rovings and then spinning them with a drop spindle.
In this picture, the roving is supposed to be peach, but it came out more orange than peach.

This is the same peach colour that I had spun. I'm not sure what I am going to use it for yet. I'm thinking hair for one of the waldorf dolls that I am going to make. I have more of it sitting on my drop spindle.
I am dyeing more wool, but this time a pretty turquoise. I am not good at knitting yet. Oh so many things I want to try.
I have about 40 pounds of wool sitting in my garage that needs to be cleaned, carded, dyed and spun. Some of it will be used for felting, that I can do. I can also crochet although I haven't made anything spectacular.

I also make jewelry. Well, its more like stringing beads and stones together. I would love to learn how to do silver. One of these days...
I made a similar necklace, but I am sending it to my friend in Japan. Her name is Yukie. Yukie means snow in Japanese. Right now she is battling cancer and I'm not sure how she is doing. I think she does not want me to worry about her. She is so sweet. So please offer up thoughts about her so she can beat this.

Lunch

2009-04-16T14:24:00.003-06:00

I love to cook and bake. We decided to have pizza today on this cold, rainy/hail day.
Doesn't it look yummy? It has a homemade basil/garlic tomato sauce and topped with red, yellow, and orange bell peppers, onions, and spinach.

Nature walk

2009-03-26T19:46:00.007-06:00

Wouldn't you know my other post was eaten...Don't know what happened to it.

We are getting snow!!! Yea!!! I want it to keep going for at least another 24 hours. The weatherman said that we would get at least an inch an hour and it was supposed to go strong for 9 hours. As usual...they lied. Even though it is supposed to snow throughout the night, I seriously doubt we will get the 15 inches.

Our unschooling is going along right on schedule. (^_^)

We went to a nature center last week. We had so much fun. Rhett was fascinated with the baby snapping turtles they had. He spent a lot of time watching them. One boy came up and was looking at them. He made a comment about how ugly they were. Rhett turned around and said, "They aren't ugly. They are just fine."
He got to put on costumes and became a thistle. He went around showing off his "leaves". Dusty spent his time talking with other homeschoolers his age.
We then went for a walk along the trails. I thought we'd see more wildlife than we did, but it was a nice jaunt. It was such a beautiful day. Rhett made a friend his age and stuck by him almost the entire time on the walk.
It was fun watching the two interact, they kept watching out for each other and spent time trying to throw sticks into a small stream below.

We were there for over four hours, exploring, walking and talking. I can't wait to go there again. The boys and I usually go and explore the trails off of the main one. We try to identify all the tracks we see. There have been plenty of deer, raccoon, fox, coyote, and bird tracks. Once Rhett found a very tiny frog hoping along in the grass. He wanted to take it home, but we let him go closer to the water. He even spotted a praying mantis.

We ended the day with a supposed bookclub meeting, but the only other boy dropped out and Dusty was excluded as the girls went into the bedroom and shut the door. Oh well, its not like he wanted to read a girly book anyway. But it would have been nice for them to include him since he showed up.

Embracing oneself

2009-02-24T10:37:00.002-07:00

The other day I got a little questionnaire and one of the things on it was: What do you like least about yourself?
My answer was, why do I have to not like something about myself? I'm sure there are things that I don't, but I never really thought about it. Things that I probably would change, maybe. Such as lose weight. Things I would adjust, like, not feel so much. But I don't think there is anything I don't like about myself.
I think people tend to dwell on the negative about themselves instead of the positive. I overhear conversations where someone will say that they hate "(insert something here) ." I rarely hear I really love "(insert)" about myself. If they did, I think there would be a lot more happiness around. If we look at the positive in ourselves, we notice the positive in others. If we are negative about ourselves, we see the negative in others.
In this society, it is difficult to do that since we are constantly bombarded by negative things. Pictures of skinny women who are airbrushed to look beautiful that makes people think they want to be like them...
The news with mostly negative things in it...death, destruction, someone hurting someone.
T.v. shows that usually portray the bad things in life. Even reality shows that pit one person against another.

Can you look at yourself and think, "I love myself just the way I am."?
If no, is it something you can change? If you cannot change it, can you find something good about it? If you cannot find anything good about it, can you overlook that one part and see yourself as a whole?

I love meeting people. I am usually viewed as stand offish and I suppose I am to an extent. Sometimes people overwhelm me so I have to adjust when I meet someone new especially in a crowd. I try to find something good in each person that I meet and I like that with each person, I take away something positive.

Passing of a legacy

2009-02-22T23:52:00.002-07:00

I often wonder what people will remember of me when I am gone. My mother was well remembered and at her memorial, people were able to comment of what they remembered of her. Most of it was that she was a hard worker, a good friend, humble...
She tried.
Another person I looked up to just passed away. His students remember him for being generous, full of knowledge and willing to help.
My mother passed on to me ideals that most mothers leave their children. She left me my heritage of being Japanese. To be proud of what I am. I remember growing up and being made fun of for being Japanese and having dark skin.
My mentor passed on a love of herbs and to be generous with my knowledge. What good is the knowledge of being able to help someone if it is not shared freely?
I want my children and friends to be able to have fond memories of me also. I want to impart my knowledge onto them if they so choose to accept.
I wonder if they will not only think good things of me...or bad...but also the things that I have shared with them?

Keeping Busy

2009-02-16T16:47:00.002-07:00

Time has a way of getting away from me. Its already towards the end of February. In a little over a month, my oldest son will be moving away to the state of Washington. All I can hope is that I have taught him to be able to take care of himself well in any situation. I cannot think of this as a loss. I have lost too many thing in the past few months. Another chapter of my life. Like graduating high school, getting married...having my firstborn child and now watching him go off to start his own life.

Learning around here goes on all the time. We each have been doing different projects. Right now Rhett is learning the ins and outs of video games. It is really sad when a four year old can beat you in video games. But then they have never been my favourite things. I do better at puzzles than games that make you complete tasks and walk all over the place. I get bored very easily. They have also been playing with a race track that we got at a thrift store pretty cheap. Oh the endless possibilities with that one. They have also been on the look out for a train set.
Its been warming up here little by little. I was still hoping for the one big snowstorm so we could bring out the snowboards. We shall see. One more month.
We will start seeds buying seeds soon so we can start them in planters. I have plans for my garden, now only if it will cooperate. I really hate the soil out here as it is mostly clay. I am going to see if Dusty can build me a solar powered greenhouse. He is getting good at building things. I can't wait to pose the problem to him to see what he comes up with. I want to be able to have herbs all year round outdoors.
I am going to study to take the Japanese Proficiency test. I think it will be the Kanji recognition that will kill me. Over 2,000 characters. Kana is not so hard. I told Dusty that he has to study to take it also. He was not so thrilled. I told him after that, I will teach him Spanish and French.

Not much else has been going on. I have been missing my mother horribly, but I also know my boys miss her too.

Projects

2009-01-11T12:50:00.002-07:00

I just replaced my drop spindle that my littlest one broke/misplaced. He was experimenting with it and it disappeared. Well I did find the bottom of it. They aren't hard to make, but I've been busy with so many other things like the death of my mother and my husband flaking out on me. It is going to be a long journey in the healing process for us.

I am trying to get back into the things that bring me joy. So I made another spindle, got out my big bag of wool, washed a bunch, carded it and am now spinning it. I still have to get better at knitting, my fingers just aren't that nimble. I can crochet though.
I've also been doing research for some articles I am writing plus a couple of manuscripts that have been collecting dust over time.

The boys each have been doing their own thing. My oldest, besides getting a job finally, has been writing non-stop. I wish he would try to publish some of his stuff, but he says that its just for fun. Dusty, my younger son, has been taking his little brother out to the park and flying a glider plane or playing with the neighbourhood kids. Its been rather warm here as of late. We have our days where it will be 60 one day and 30 the next. Man has been messing with Mother Nature for way too long.

Since the boys have found my stash of beeswax, we will be making candles this week. I am so glad that I bought 75 lbs of organic beeswax awhile ago. It has kept the kids busy in making crayons, candles, gum, lotions, salves, etc. I love the smell of pure beeswax.

I am patiently waiting for Spring. I do love winter. I love watching the snowflakes fall, watching the boys play in the snow and build snowmen, going sledding, the promise of hot cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows. A nice warm fire in the fireplace and curling up with the boys and a book. But Spring...the birth of the new. I want to go foraging for yellow and curly dock. I want to eat fresh dandelion greens. I need to replenish my herb stash. I need to make my oils and tinctures.
I will be able to teach my boys about different herbs and how to make medicine to take care of themselves. Hopefully they will be able to pass it down to their children. I want them to know that they don't have to take all the junk that passes for medicine in the stores or pharmacies.

So as we sit here and rest as the Earth rests, we keep busy with little things. I am looking for work so I can support me and my children since I no longer have a spouse to help with the biggest of burdens. How lucky of him to call it quits and he gets off with little responsibility and I am going to have to try to keep the children in the only home they really know.

Letting Children be Children

2009-01-04T19:14:00.002-07:00

I was reading a book called Taking Back Childhood by Nancy Carlsson-Paige. It stated how the school systems were taking away playtime from children in favour of teaching children to make the best test scores on the state standard tests. She also said that children do not play like children played a decade ago using their imagination and playing outside, instead they spend countless hours in front of the t.v. or playing hand held video games.
Then I was reading on a site about some parents of gifted children pusing them to read, not because the child wanted to, but because the parent thought the child should be reading at the age of 3. She said something along the lines of I had to take a break from the reading progam because ds was just not getting it.
I thought how true for what Carlsson-Paige said and how sad for that child. Where did that child's childhood go? That three year old should be playing, making up imaginary things, being read to, exploring. Not made to sit and do worksheets and lessons. I could see if it was the childs choice, my oldest wanted to learn to read at the age of two, was reading simple books by the age of three and reading chapter books by the age of four. But it was his doing not mine. He would bring me a book and ask, "What's that word?" It was constantly, "What's that word?"
My middle child did not want to read, loathed reading when he was younger. So I took the leap and let him be. He built things, he explore, he played with power tools. You should have seen the look on people's faces as they walked by my house and they would see a three year old playing with a jig saw and sander. At the age of eight he decided it was time. He started off hesitantly, but by the time he was nine he was reading fluently and getting up in front of people and giving public readings. Now he reads adult books and he just turned 11 not too long ago. So there is hope for those who have late readers.

I remember when I was young going out and catching garter snakes and taking them to school with me. This was always a fail safe measure to getting out of reading when I was in the 3rd grade. I hated reading because I am dyslexic. More with numbers than letters though, but at that age it was all bad. When it was my turn to read...out would come Mr. Snake with my book and that was the quickest way to clear the teacher out to the room (and me to the principal's office). Then mid-year had a teacher change and the teacher actually worked with me to read. It's not that I couldn't do it, it was just that I hated to struggle at it...when I am nervous it makes it worse. Nothing makes me more nervous than to have all eyes on me when trying to read...
I read a lot better silently. Since she worked with me it got better little by little. Then lo and behold they found out that I was gifted. Then came the real pressure. Teacher always said..."You can do better than that." or "I'm disappointed in you that you did not try harder." Work got piled on me and I was at home studying instead of catching crawdads and snakes like my brother and his friends...who were once my friends. While they ran around playing chase and tag, I was inside studying, reading, doing worksheets.

I wanted something different for my children. I know they are gifted...each in their own way. Three children, talented, in separate areas. Its great to watch them. I want them to have time to play and imagine. I want them to be able to find an area they excel at without someone pushing them into an area that they are not happy in. I want them to have a childhood.
I know my three year old is ready to read but he has more fun building with blocks and learning about physics. He has more fun catching bugs, dancing in the yard, and watching the clouds go by on a summers day. In the winter he loves to watch the snowflakes and try to catch them on his tongue.
That is what childhood is about. Not trying to get ahead academically, not making them sit for hours at a young age to test for a standard that has nothing to do with them. They should be able to make believe, imagine, play, dance...
Imaginative play is important for a child's development. It builds necessary pathways in cognitive development. It helps with problem solving and developing coping mechanisms and this is the stage that is being denied children with early work, the ever decreasing play time at school, pushing young children to accomplish things they are not ready for.
It is time we as parents give back our children their childhood. We as parents, are our children's first advocates for what they need because we know our children best.

Me and my music

2008-12-30T00:04:00.002-07:00

Right now I am listening to B'z. Its a usual thing. They are a Japanese group, AWESOME. I know most wont get the lyrics (that's what google is for...), but they do sound great. The tempo, the sound of his voice, the guitar. They are the first Asian group to get a spot on Hollywood Rock Walk. Tak Matsumoto, B'z guitarist, is a signature artist for Gibson and has several limited editions made in his honour.
Anyway...
Music is healing or can be. For me it is a way to drown out emotions. Not mine...others. Well, it also helps so that my emotions don't overwhelm others also at times. So I am seldom without music if I know I am going into a crowded place. I'm usually the only one who is wearing headphones in a bar or nightclub. Go figure. The only time I go somewhere without my tunes is if I know I am with someone safe. Someone who can act as a buffer so I am not overwhelmed at times. Or if I am in a place where my music is totally not appropriate.

I went to my mother's memorial and there were so many people. Music totally not appropriate. One of my friends doesn't quite understand what its like for me. But she was my buffer that day. Try as I did, it was overwhelming and while I was trying to keep a straight face and not cry, not let the emotions overwhelm me, she took the run off. I think she was fine for about the first 5 minutes or so.

My music ranges from really soft stuff to Classical to Pop to JPop, Grunge to heavy metal type stuff. I think it depends on the situation I am in that chooses the type of music that helps me.

What's in a name?

2008-12-21T11:14:00.003-07:00

So now Cody, my oldest, is saying he likes the name Hageshii for Rhett. Rhett means enthusiastic, fervour. That is what Hageshii means also along with fiery. However, the Kanji can mean violent so we have to be careful how it is written. Since Cody is the one who gave Rhett his name when he was born, I suppose it would be his right to also give him his Japanese name.
Somewhere in Japan is my mother's brother. After looking for him for a number of years, we still haven't been able to find him. I will continue to look tho. I wonder about him, wonder if I have cousins, wonder if he ever thought about my mother after she left Japan.
His name is Kazuo Araki. Their mother's name was Tome and their father's name was Yashio.
Cody wants to take on the last name of Araki legally. I do not have a problem with this as I would like to hyphenate my last name to include it also.

Stones

2008-12-19T20:17:00.003-07:00

I love stones, crystals, minerals, etc. Each one has different properties and qualities. Crystals are extremely fascinating to me. I love to figure out how many sides each one has. I used to collect geodes with amethyst inside. I even had a garnet crystal at one time. I still have an uncut blue topaz shard that I have had for a very long time. Probably about 25 years now. The other stone I am most fond of is one my father got for me. It's an Apache Tear. I've had that one for about 30 years. I've collected my own over the years and made them mine, but the first is special.

I make necklaces and bracelets with different stones. I usually end up giving them as gifts. I am pretty good at matching people with stones.
Everything has a vibration. We have a vibration, the stones have their own vibration, the food we eat has a vibration. Our vibrations mingle with the vibrations of other things and they either help or hinder. A negative reaction is just a vibration that interferes with our vibration. If we can adjust our frequency to that of the objects, then we are in harmony with it.
Different stones can adjust to our vibrations to help heal, they absorb energy, and can help deflect negative energy from powerlines, computers, digital clocks near beds and people. They can also be used to make an environment rich in negative ions.

My favourite stones to use are amethyst, hemetite, lapis and malachite. When I can get a supply, amber. I love the various colours that it comes in and they have a deep rich resonance.

What are we up to today...

2008-12-19T12:47:00.002-07:00

Or should I say, "What we should be up to today..."
I was researching Japanese names.
My mom was supposed to give Rhett a name in Japanese. We had kind of settled on Yugure, which means Darkness or the time between light and dark, twilight. Dusty thinks Tatsumaki is a better one because it means Tornado and that is exactly what Rhett is. Our family name is Araki. Dusty's name is Senshi which means Warrior. Cody's is Shin'ichi which means Faithful first son or One truth.
I'm supposed to be looking for a job, but its depressing. I'm supposed to be cleaning the house, but there is only so much time that I can spend doing that. It seems that I am constantly cleaning.

Dusty is supposed to be taking his CAT-9 test. But he's been playing with his little brother. They've been having fun so I am not worried about the test. Although I kind of listed our beginning school year as January 1st and I have to take in our NOI 2 weeks before then...hmmm. I have seemed to pass the due date. Oh well.

Rhett, of course has the run of the house. We don't do any real type of schooling with any of the boys, but him especially unless he asks for it. Although he's been wanting to learn how to knit and sew. He has been spending his day flittering here and there. Playing with magnets and my sewing pins. He discovered that a magnet will pick them all up. He and Dusty have been making little figures with a roll of magnets and pretending they are different things. He has also been playing with a flashlight.

O.k. So now Dusty is doing his test and grumbling. He's not liking it this year. Last time he thought it was great. Next time we will probably have the assessment done instead.
I cleaned the kitchen and am going to update my resume for preschool teacher instead of massage therapy.
And Rhett is happily watching the Backyardigans on a dvd we got from the library.

Our day is not over yet. We shall see what mischief we can conjure up by the days end.

Just Breathe

2008-12-18T17:06:00.004-07:00

I figured out that I've been walking around holding my breath. Things kept going wrong and it seems that I was holding my breath waiting for the next thing to happen. I was getting tired, health problems were starting to flare and I kept wondering why. Then I noticed that I wasn't really breathing.
Breathing right enables the body to get enough oxygen, massages internal organs and stimulates organ function. It also helps with the central nervous system, stress, removes waste from the blood. It also makes our lungs strong. If our lungs are weak, it gives way to disease. It also can really mess up the back and shoulder muscles.
So what I had to start doing is just breathe.

Me

2008-12-15T23:11:00.004-07:00

I picked up writing again. I figured it was about time. My main goal is to write small articles to sell. But I also had a story idea a couple of years ago that I wrote down buy never got to finish.
Writing is a great way to creatively get rid of frustrations, anger, sadness, etc. I loved writing stories since I was old enough to hold a pencil. It was my way of relating to a world I didn't quite fit into. A way of releasing frustration of being a child that was not quite understood. I loved it. It was the same way with books. It was a way of escape for me. I had friends in books.
Sad isn't it?
Then I had an English teacher in high school that loved my writings. He actually took the time to read them and made comments on what I wrote. Someone who saw a lonely person with talent. He encouraged me immensely.
Every spare moment I had I would write. I still have most of them too. Stories that I started then gave up. My problem is is if I see the ending of the story, I get bored with it. I know the ending, why finish it? I have to break out to that habit.
The one that I am writing now...I have no clue of the ending. Actually I don't know what direction I want to go with it. I'm still in the early stages. But I will not figure out the ending til I am there. Maybe I will be able to finish it this time.

My Boys

2008-12-14T00:10:00.003-07:00

I never fully introduced my boys. As with all parents, I can say my boys are wonderful.
My oldest is now 19 years old. He's charming, sarcastic, has dry wit and humour. He can be morbid with the best of them...including me. He's been my sparring partner for years. But now he is afraid he will hurt me so we don't do as much as we used to.
He loves learning about Japanese history, loves to write stories, loves music. He has two bass guitars and a drum set. He has taught himself how to play by trial and error, watching, listening and practice. He collects swords and knives.
Over all he is a wonderful young man who is respectful of others, lets things roll off when someone tries to offend him.

My 11 year old is outgoing, fun and sensitive. He loves helping people and goes out of his way to do so. He also loves taking things apart to find out how they work. He has the entreprenuer spirit and tries to find ways to make money on his own for the things he wants. He loves mysteries. He can spend hours playing a computer games with a whodunit theme. He also loves simulators. He reads a variety of books, his favourite for a while as by Erin Hunter. Now he just kind of reads whatever he finds interesting. He also loves his legos. He spends some time building and coming up with new things.

My youngest at 3, getting ready to turn 4, is...well at the moment, moody. He misses the warmer months where he could run outside catching bugs. He misses the grasshoppers and ants. He misses chasing butterflies. I tell him to chase snowflakes. He loves it when it does snow. He loves building things with blocks. He loves playing with the hammer and screwdriver. He tries to "fix" our steps leading to the deck all the time, even putting new nails in it so it doesn't wobble.
He loves being read to and his favourite book is Inai Inai BA which is Peek a Boo in Japanese. Its a cute board book that he knows by heart. His other favourites are the Berenstain Bears, The Bear Snores On and the other books that belong in that series. He loves playing video games and is amazing at them. He speaks in both Japanese and English.
He loves trying new things and practically shows no fear. That can be scary sometimes especially when he is jumping off something particularly high, yelling "mommy catch me!" before I really ahve a chance to turn around.

So those are my boys. Happy, loving, moody, special and growing up too fast.

Winter

2008-12-12T20:02:00.002-07:00

I love watching the snowflakes dance as they filter their way down to land on the ground. I love to watch the way the wind blows them around in swirls. I love to watch my boys try to catch them on their tongues as they play all bundled up in the yard. I love to fix hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream.
I love to make wreaths for the birds and squirrels to munch on when food is scarce. I love having the shortest day of the year and the longest night.
Winter is a time of rest and rejuvenation. The Earth sleeps and rests getting ready to be reborn in the spring. Next to Autumn, it is my favourite time of year. I love the cold crisp morning...mostly because I love to stay snuggled under my blankets. I love the cleanness of the snow.
Where I am at, I hear grumble during the hot summer months that they can't wait for winter so it will cool off. Then when winter comes, they complain that it is too cold and can't wait for summer. I think that like all seasons, winter should be embraced and savoured.
With the change of time and technology, it is easy to bypass listening to our bodies and the Earth. We stay busy from dawn til the time we go to bed which I am sure for most is not when the sun goes down. So we get tired, our immune system falters and winter becomes flu season. We push ourselves when we should be resting, we try to eat the same all year round, we do not let our bodies rest and rejuvenate as we should. I keep thinking it would be great if we could hibernate.

Tomorrow it is supposed to be a nice 51+ degrees. Sunday it is supposed to drop to 18 degrees and snow. I will be curled up on the couch with a good book for most of the day. I picked up Kay Hooper's Blood Sins at the library yesterday. That and the FBI Handbook of Crime Scene Forensics it should be some happy reading.

December...

2008-12-12T14:35:00.003-07:00

Its hard to believe that it is the middle of December already. This year has flown by and I haven't done all the things I wanted to. But hey, that is OK. Little setbacks. Next year is another year and another chance.
On next years agenda...
take the boys fishing more than once
hiking in the Rocky Mountain National Park
cave exploring
visiting some historical sites here in Colorado and maybe some surrounding states
camping
go for my NCBTMB (national cert for bodyworkers)
get my cert in Eastern Holistic Medicine

I would put down write a best selling novel, but its a little far fetched. Think I'll just put down: finish a book and hope it sells.

I always envisioned myself in a cozy cottage somewhere in the country surrounded by my children and pets writing away. I'm a nature girl at heart. I would have flowers and herbs drying on the walls, beautiful flowers growing in window boxes, cooking over a fire in a large hearth fireplace.
The boys would spend most of their time playing outside in the yard. Hopefully there would be a stream for them to explore on the long summer days. I could envision them bringing me a tadpole or lizard as I quietly type or do research. Actually, it wouldn't be quiet...I love music too much for it to stay quiet for long.
Don't know if I can picture a significant other in the picture or not. I always thought I would be happily married, but I guess things weren't meant to work out. So I just envision me and my boys in this life. Maybe the time will come when I will be able to have that special someone.
I can see the boys and I cuddled up in front of the fireplace on cold winter days and nights reading books aloud, maybe making popcorn and listening to the wind and snow blow around the house.
Books play an important role in our home. Each one has their own genre that they like to read. I like thrillers/mysteries, Cody likes sci-fi/historical (especially Japanese)/and the macabre, Dusty likes lots of different fiction, but mostly mysteries. Rhett likes animal stories.
I like reading books on forensic protocol and procedures and forensic psychology I guess that goes along with reading the mystery/thrillers that I like so well. Especially the ones that deal with serial killers such as Catherine Coulter, Kay Hooper, Iris Johansen, Alex Kava...
I would love to be able to write a story as they do. One that makes you coming back for more, one where you can't wait for the next book to be published.
I got to meet Catherine Coulter a couple of years ago. Classy lady. I enjoyed speaking with her and would love to do it again.
Another authour I would love to meet would be Karen Marie Moning. I love her Highlander series and now the Fever series. Awesome books.

I will be there someday soon. I will be able to pick a book of of the best seller's table, point to it and say, "This one is mine!"
Maybe this upcoming year.

Eating for the seasons

2008-12-09T10:52:00.002-07:00

Time to put away the cold bearing salads made with lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, etc. The cold drinks such as green teas and citrus juices. Time for the warmer root veggies and warmer drinks.
Its the change of the seasons and time to eat with that change.
Root vegetables such as parsnips, carrots, sweet potatoes, rutabagas, etc. and winter squashes like acorn, spaghetti, and butternut are rich in vitamins and minerals that we need during the cold, short days. These are also warming to the body unlike summer vegetables which are cooling. The last thing a person needs is to eat cooling foods on an already cold day, lowering their body temperature and their immune system.
Beverages, too, are either warming or cooling. Citrus juices such as orange juice and lemonades are cooling and are better left to that hot summer day. Green teas are also cooling in nature. It is better to move to the darker teas that are spiced with cinnamon, cloves, etc.

My favourite dishes are spiced winter squash. Its a mixture of butternut and acorn squash seasoned with cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. Add a little bit of butter and some honey. Bake in the oven for about 45 minutes. Its even yummy for breakfast.
A root soup made with parsnips, rutabagas, carrots, onion, sweet potato, burdock and taro root. Can be made with veggie stock or meat stock. I like to add a bit of left over pot roast or chicken.
Spiced banana bread loaded with cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. The recipe I have has stayed in my family for generations.

Cinnamon is not only good for leveling out blood/sugar levels, but it also removes cold/damp from the lungs that cause phlegm. Nutmeg and cloves are too an expectorant and have warming properties.

Homeschooling

2008-12-08T10:22:00.002-07:00

I've been teaching my children at home since they were born. I know many think that you start homeschooling when they come of school age, but I think that I am the one who taught them to walk, vocabulary, etc. They were taught at home to do those things, I just took it to the next level when they became school age. My oldest was already reading when he started "kindergarten".
So its been 19 years since I started on this journey. I have done a public school homeschool program, a charter, literature based, unit based, eclectic and finally unschooling. Not radical unschooling mind you, that may be the next step but we aren't there yet.
Our days usually consist of the boys reading and being read to, helping around the house and exploring. Running around outside and figuring things out.
My littlest one loves taking things apart that has screws. Most of my cabinets now have screws missing on the handles. There are toys that have been taken apart. Anything with screws is not safe.
My 11 year old is an entreprenuer. He goes around the neighbourhood looking for anyone to pay him to rake their lawns. He's been doing pretty good. Now its shoveling walks, but the snow hasn't stayed around long enough for him to get out there.
My oldest is of course out looking for a job. He does spend quite a bit of time still writing. His first passion. He also reads a lot. He still plans on moving in a couple of months.

I get asked, "How do you know your child is going to learn anything if you don't make them learn?"
How does anyone learn anything? It isn't by force. When an adult sees a need to learn something, they go and learn it. Children are the same way. It also helps if there is a desire and an inquisitive mind. How do you foster an inquisitive mind? By allowing your child to explore and do things in a safe enviroment. If they want to take a screwdriver and unscrew the cabinets, let them. (Just make sure you gather up all the screws or you will end up with handles that fall off...)
If they want to bring bugs into the house to look at on the kitchen table, so be it. (Just make sure you gather up the bugs before they scurry across the floor to parts unknown.)
How will they learn to read???
For us it was just a matter of being read to so much that they decided that they wanted to try on their own. My oldest was reading at 3. The older was reading and giving public readings at the age of 8. My youngest is still working on it. I've never thought they wouldn't learn and it was never a matter of when. I always thought that they would learn when they were ready, in the meantime, I would just read to them and enjoy that time.
Math proficiency?
Cooking with your child is an excellent way to teach them math as well as cooking skills. Then when they get older you just build on it. My oldest wanted to take Trig and Calculus when he was 16. Not because I made him, he thought it was something that he should know out in the "real world" when he got older.

I am not saying that all children will flourish under this style. Some do well with structure, but is it their choice and learning style or is it the parents? It can be child led if it is the child wanting to do the work.

As I sit here...

2008-12-02T20:09:00.002-07:00

Its taking a lot to keep this blog going on a semi happy note. I can't say that I've been depressed because usually I'm doing really well. Its when I hit bottom before I realize it (and I seem to be doing that a lot lately) that it seems I am sitting in front of my computer.
I have discovered I am not strong like everyone says I am. If only they knew.
Then I hear that I am only human. If only they knew.
Everyone sees the part of me that deals well with things because I am good at putting that to the forefront for brief periods of time. If only they knew.
People think that I am mourning only the loss of my mother. If only they knew.
I go out and see happy families. Those with mothers, newborn babies, or pregnant women, those with loving husbands...It shouldn't hurt should it? If only they knew.

The Little Things

2008-11-21T18:27:00.002-07:00

I love that song These Are a Few of My Favourite Things.

For those that don't know it, here are the lyrics:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bitesWhen the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

I think about the little things that I enjoy. The things that give me pleasure. My younest bringing me a grasshopper that he found in the backyard. The laughter it brings forth from his lips because it tickled him. Watching the pride in my 11 year olds face as he figures out how to do something. Listening to my oldest as he tells me about something funny he read or watched.
Watching the sun come up and feeling its warmth. Watching the dogs play in the backyard. Finding a good book I can really enjoy. Music that moves me.
Being with a good friend who's company I really enjoy and cherish. Especially going to lunch and enjoying a really wonderful chicken milanese flatbread pizza. YUM!!

I think about all the little things I will miss about my mom. Calling her up and asking her how to say something in Japanese. Going out to dinner. Watching her play at the park with my boys. Her little mannerisms, her hospitality.
I think of all the future things we will both miss out on. Her seeing Dusty graduate from high school. Cody getting married. Rhett growing up.
I will miss out on having a mom to turn to.

Something fun

2008-11-21T17:46:00.003-07:00

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Last Wish

2008-11-19T23:01:00.003-07:00

Last Wish

Since all that I can ever do for thee
Is to do nothing, then my prayer must be
That thou mayst never guess nor see
The all-endured this nothing done cost me.

Edward, Earl of Lytton

Remember

2008-11-19T22:50:00.002-07:00

REMEMBER

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning to stay.
Remember me when no more day to day
You tell me of our future that you planned;
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel or pray
Yet if you should forget me for awhile
And afterwards, remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestigo of the thoughts that once I had
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than you should remember and be sad.

Christina Georgina Rossetti

Would anyone care?

2008-11-19T21:46:00.002-07:00

Would anyone care if I just disappeared? Wonder if anyone would miss me? Guess I'm not doing as well as I thought.
Today is November 19th.

End of November?

2008-11-18T12:13:00.002-07:00

Are we coming to the end of November already? Hard to believe that this is the 18th already. Tomorrow will be the one month anniversary of my mother's death.
Things are getting better, sort of. Still go through bouts of wanting to cry uncontrollably, but haven't yet.

Schooling. Hmmmm. Learning is definately going on. Good thing it isn't structured. We would not get anything done.
Dusty (my 11 year old) is raking leaves in the neighbourhood to earn some cash. He is trying to figure out how to build a go-cart and wants to learn to weld. An 11 year old with a torch. Wonder if I dare.
My 19 year old (well almost 19, will be on the 26th) quit his job. My sanity has returned somewhat. My body is slowly realizing that I don't have to get up at 2 am and again at 6 am. He still spends most of his time playing the bass and writing. Wonder how long will I have to wait til I see something in print.
My 3 almost 4 year old (Rhett) is into everything as usual. He is sad that he doesn't get to play with grasshoppers anymore so I bought him little plastic ones. Not the same, I know. He too, with the help of his brother's, has discovered the fun of playing with airsoft pistols. They have a target in the backyard.
He is learning more Japanese and its fun to watch the baffled look on people's faces because they can only understand part of his sentences.
We are going to start on reading the Iliad and Odyssey.
Well, I am off to the store to buy a non low flow toilet thingy. Yes, I said thingy. Installed a low flow system thinking it would be better...but NOOOOOOOO! Its been a pain in the butt ever since. Oh, and can't forget the ferret food.

Jaa ne

Life

2008-11-14T09:07:00.002-07:00

Things are still a little bumpy. I think that I am fine, then I take a turn for the worse. Just part of life. I decided to take a break from getting my mom's things done. Everyone can wait.
If anyone is coming into to this late...go find the entry: Five Minutes.

Right now I am listening to The Calling's Wherever You Will Go.
Eating: Oatmeal loaded with butter.
Drinking: Orange Spice Tea
Getting ready to: Create more tables for work. Have to finish 22 frames.
Today: I am taking my boys out to lunch.

We had our first snow fall in the metro area. It started off slow and then picked up speed. I was out at 2:30 this morning on Pena Blvd which is the main highway to DIA and it was pretty windy and kicking the snow up. Then it just stopped. It was like it hit a wall partway to DIA. It was cool. Of course on the way back it wasn't really snowing at all. I got home at 3:30 and there were just a couple of big flakes. I wake up and boom...snow everywhere. Not really enough to last long and of course it's already melting.
Hopefully there will be a big snowstorm and I will be able to bring out the snowboards out locally instead of going up to the mountains. I'm cheap. We do need new boots though.

Well, its time to get started with work so I can get it done and over with.

Jaa ne

My Life

2008-11-02T22:04:00.002-07:00

In an earlier post, I told a little about myself. Not much because really there isn't much to tell. It was just an overview with some little tidbit. So if you want to know what they were, you have to go back and read the posts.

Anyway.

Everyone is fascinated by the things I pick up. I love to learn new things so I want to experience as much as possible.
I always tell people my most favourite job was for a first call service. This service transports the deceased from one place to another such as a nursing home to a mortuary. I know, I'm morbid. But the care that these ones receive is amazing. They may be deceased, but they are still treated with respect. Although we, who drove the vans, do love to joke and play pranks.
I've been around bounty hunters (oops politically correct term...skip tracers), my father and grandfather were both in the business. I learned martial arts thru my father along with fire arms. The swords are strictly my own.
Oh, another favourite. The time I worked for a group of male strippers. I was their driver, took care of music, lighting, etc when they did group parties. When they did private parties, they were on their own. Learned a lot when I hit the gym with them. Almost made it to Ms Malibu and Ms Tropicana one year with their help. I did want to lose tho. Too much responsibility and time.
Modelling was fun...until it came time to work. Just kidding. An experience that I may or may not want to go through again.
Then there are the lesser jobs...Toys R Us, Shopper for a grocery store for a home delivery service. Oh and the house cleaning and nanny jobs.
Along with things I have done in my life...
Drum with a Native American group in college.
Danced in pow wows.
Sang for a bit...didn't make any money. Hey Sean D if you read this...I did get better from when you and Steve used to know me.
Learned how to play the violin, drums, piano. I am working on the Cello.

String theory still eludes me. I can get the concept...its just...it doesn't really make sense to me. I keep telling people, "I AM NOT A SCIENCE NERD!"

Of course now I do massage and herbs. Its still a challenge for me so I will stick with it for now. I am also learning AutoCAD. That too is a challenge.

Ok, so there is a bit more about me. Maybe next time I'll write about the scar I have on my side from when I got shot.

Direction

2008-11-01T15:37:00.003-06:00

I had a vision on how this blog was supposed to be. I put in the description Life's Journey and the Road Less Travelled. My friends know that I don't take the easy way nor am I a follower. I don't believe in destiny. Destiny is the end of the road you choose to take. I don't believe in fate. Fate is the twists and turns in life that you also choose. The outcome is all based on what we want in life and how we perceive things. Are you a "glass half full" type person or the "glass half empty" type person. Something wonderful could be sitting right in front, arms reach, but because of our perception we will either see it as wonderful, something bad, or miss it all together.
I'm guilty of this. Let something wonderful slip through my hands more than once. But I recognize it now. Change my perception and see things differently. It took me awhile to do this. It doesn't happen overnight and it involves something most people don't want to do. Letting go of the past and negative thoughts and emotions.
As an empath, I am all about feelings and emotions. I attatch certain events with emotions and they stay buried deep inside. Letting go of those can be quite an experience. I like that I am free to explore without the baggage I used to carry around.
Everyone has something in their past that they will always carry around, but will it be a negative experience or a positive one?
I like to think of myself as a positive person...of course I do have my issues. Yes...issues...They are fun aren't they. Ever meet a dark and morbid person who had a positive outlook?

Direction...it changes all the time. Life changes all the time.

What Happened.

2008-10-30T22:57:00.002-06:00

For those who are still wondering if I found out what happened. The answer is yes. Not sure anyone really wants to hear the real truth. I know I did not. It has taken me some time to process it and am still trying to deal with it. Me and my morbid mind needs to know all the details. But I don't think I will ever know.

So read at your own risk. I am warning you.

My mother had gotten off the bus and was crossing the street. She made it across the eastbound lane and was waiting to pass the west bound lane. There were no cross walks where she was or stoplight.
My mother is usually off in her own little world. Always thinking of what she needs to do instead of where she actually is. She stepped in front of a pick up that was doing 35 mph and was thrown about 40 feet.

I do not know the details afterwards and that is the part that bugs me. I think it always will.

Time

2008-10-30T21:58:00.002-06:00

They say: "Time heals all wounds."
I could never figure out that statement. Maybe it would be better if it was stated: "Time helps all wounds." or "Time heals some wounds." maybe "Time will ease the pain."
There are some things that I've gone through when I was younger that still hurt just as bad as they did when it happened. Time has done nothing to stop it. And there are other things that just get re-opened with certain events.

I don't think time has anything to do with it at all. I think it is a good psychologist. Just kidding. Everyone has ways of dealing with things. For me it is music and writing. This is my outlet. This is how I sort things out, my joys, my sorrows, my pain, my grief.
I lose myself in music. If not playing then listening. All sorts of music.

If you want to hear some awesome music you need to hear Sean Damon aka Sean Dokken. I would alway ask him to sing Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera way back in the day. The site direct you to his MySpace site and you can listen to some of his music.

Another favourite is Celldweller. Klayton is awesome at pulling everything together to create a track.

Apocalyptica. This group makes me envious. I would love to be able to play the cello like this. You can check them out on here to listen to some of their tracks.

You might need to have a MySpace account to listen.

Request

2008-10-27T00:12:00.002-06:00

Just a small request. If you stop by can you leave a comment or two?

Tonight

2008-10-26T22:43:00.002-06:00

Tonight is rough. I've been sitting here thinking, remembering that at 10:56 pm I got a phone call one week ago. Less than 40 minutes after that I was hearing the news that my mother was dead.
This week has been bittersweet. I was able to spend time with my brother whom I haven't seen in quite some time. We promised each other that we would not let a large amount of time go by without seeing each other again.
His family and mine were able to get to know one another more. But it shouldn't have been under these circumstances.

I know that time heals all wounds, but when its fresh it really hurts. I know the pain will lessen over time.

I AM REALLY THANKFUL for my friends that have been here for me even if they couldn't be here in person.
I received a call from Scotland yesterday morning. I have a pen pal that I have been conversing with for almost a year. It was wonderful to hear his voice. I love his accent. I am thankful that he is my friend.

I am thankful for my friend in California who stayed up late several nights to make me laugh and take my mind off of things even if for a little while.

I am thankful for my friends here who have been helpful in bringing meals and calling to remind me of things that needed to get done or a call just to say hello. My brain really did leave me. I couldn't remember anything, things are still a bit fuzzy.

I am thankful for my mother's friends who so lovingly put together a collage of pictures for the service, made the programs, put together the reception afterwards. Making all the plans so I wouldn't have to.

I am thankful for one of my mom's friend and her husband who helped me with the mortuary and the cremation plans. Without them, it would not have been possible. They really have my love and thanks.

I always wanted to get a plant or two for my house. I usually kill things. Don't know why. I can have a wonderful garden, grow lots of herbs, but flowers and houseplants escape me. Now my house if filled with flowers and plants. My mom has grown two citrus plants from seed and I am so afraid of killing them. She also has various other plants, my livingroom is starting to look like a forest.
Oh and she has this tomato plant, except its not a plant. Its a tree. This thing is huge. I cannot figure out how she got it to grow so big in her tiny little apartment. Friends of hers said that it wouldn't grow tomatoes at first because she couldn't get it pollenated. So she took the screen off of her window and propped the plant so part of it was hanging outside. She lived on the second floor of her apt. building. Well, it ended up having the most delicious cherry tomatoes.

One week ago today at this time I was looking down at my mom as she lay in the hospital. My kids and I said goodbye to her as I gently pushed the hair off of her forehead and I stroked her hand.

I know it will get easier. It just takes time. I am not a patient person.

Old Friends

2008-10-25T00:45:00.002-06:00

Feeling as messed up as I am, I thought I'd try to find some friends that I'd lost touch with. Its amazing how much time one lets slip away before you realize that deep friendships shouldn't be let go.
I caught up with a friend that I hadn't spoken to in a long time. Yeah, there's history. I can't begin to say how much I missed him. Over the past couple of days he has really helped me deal with this trajedy with my mom. Amidst all this, he has made me laugh.
My biggest problem is that he is 1200 miles away. But that's ok. Technology is great isn't it?
Friendship to me is a very special and private thing. It takes me a long time to make one and then I keep it for life. I can honestly say that I will never let another friend go. Will find the time to keep in touch, because you never know.

So here's a shout out to a friend that I deeply appreciate:

THANK YOU BRETT!!!!

Still haven't found out the truth

2008-10-23T15:05:00.002-06:00

I still haven't received the police report. Will be doing that tonight. I found an article in the newspaper.
It says that my mom was crossing the street and not in the crosswalk. I guess the car did not see her and struck her doing about 45 mph. It was dark. They found no negligence on the driver's part or so the newspaper says.

5 minutes

2008-10-22T23:51:00.004-06:00

I was sitting at my table Sunday night, getting ready to go upstairs to bed when the phone rings. It is 11 p.m. I'm thinking, who in the world is calling me. So I answer it. A voice tells me that my mother was in a serious car accident and I need to come to Swedish Hospital right away. I get directions and ask how serious is it? They tell me its very serious. I get the kids dressed and we are out the door. I get to the hospital and they usher me and my boys into a conference room...dim light goes on in the brain.
They bring in the doctor and head nurse...another dim light goes on. I keep hoping against hope that maybe she was just fine.
They go into their usual speel. She was brought in, we did surgery, we did all we could...but unfortunately...there was too much damage...she died. Five freaking minutes before we got there.
I'm numb. I know the whole thing, they didn't have to explain it to me. I ask to see her. Of course they say. Have to warn you though...I don't want the boys to see her just yet. I wanted to see the damage first. I've seen pedestrian vs auto before. Its never a pretty sight. I will never forget the sight of my mother lying there.
She's kind of a tiny woman, typical Japanese lady. She was so full of energy. She played with my boys when they were over...basketball, tennis, ran around the park...etc. She never sat still, always moving.
And here she was, battered and bruised. Swollen from the fluids. Still.
Just 5 minutes too late.

I cannot describe the pain. I cannot describe how I've been handling this. Everyone says I'm doing good. If they only knew. I keep saying I'm fine while I sleep. People keep offering me sleeping pills. I sleep just fine. Its when I wake up thats the problem. I keep trying to get through the day. I keep trying to make it.
I'm forgetting things. I can't remember who says what and what I have to do. I feel as though I am shutting down, but I can't. So I try to keep going.
Things don't make sense. I can't cry, I'd never stop. I can't grieve, it would be encompassing and there would be no one to pull me out.
I don't want to be around her friends because in a group, their grief is overwhelming and I can't handle theirs and mine at the same time. So I have to block it out. It makes me tired, I get really bad headaches. I have two more major things to do. Go to the police dept. and pick up her belongings and a copy of the police report. And make it through Saturday which is her memorial service. The place seats a little over 200 and they are afraid that it will not be enough. My mom was quite popular even if she says she doesn't have that many friends.
Then I have to take care of the small details and such.

I am tired. I hurt. I keep thinking things that I shouldn't.

I need to work to keep busy.

If only...the two saddest words in life.
If only I had:
talked to her more often
visited her more often
called her more often
sent her cards more often
been there for her
I had told her I loved her more often

If only I had not been 5 minutes too late.

These days

2008-10-22T21:42:00.002-06:00

Call you up in the middle of the night,
like a fire flower miles away,
you were there like a blow torch burnin',
I was a key that could use a little turnin'
So tired that I couldn't even sleep,
so many secrets I couldn't keep,
promised myself I wouldn't weep,
one more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep theres no way out,
this time I have really let myself pull stray
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile,
make it somehow seem all worth while,
how on earth did I get so jaded,
last mystery seemed so naked
I can go where no one else can go,
I know what no one else has known,
here I am just a drowning in the brain,
with a ticket for a runaway train
Everything seems judded inside,
day and night earth and sky,
somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Want a ticket for a runaway train?,
like a madman laughin' at the rain,
a little out of touch little in the brain,
its just easier to deal with the pain
Runaway train never goin' back,
wrong way on a one way track
seems like I should be getting somewhere,
somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train never comin' back,
runaway train tearin' up the track,
runaway train burnin' in my veins,
run away but it always seems the same

Late nights

2008-10-06T22:40:00.002-06:00

Here I am sitting at my computer listening to Sarah Mclachlan and working...well trying to work. I have such a weird schedule. Brutal actually. I work from 10:00 p.m. to 2 a.m. on the computer, then I have to take my oldest son into work. He has to be there by 3 or so. I get home about 3:30 and then back out the door at 6:15 to pick him up again.
Don't ask me when I sleep. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.

What I am doing right now...
Drinking Earl Grey tea and lemon water and working.

Listening to...
Ice by Sarah Mclachlan

Wearing...
Grey slacks and a dark green t-shirt. Oh and hand-knitted slipper socks.

Wishing...
My friend was here to keep me company. But all the sane people are asleep.

Life

2008-10-06T20:36:00.002-06:00

It is funny how life has so many twists and turns, forked roads...which one do you take? Do you take the road less travelled? or the one many have been down before? Do you blaze your own trail or take the well beaten path?
I think of every day as a new adventure...which path to choose; which decision to make. I think if I didn't have children I'd be a bit more daring, but ultimately decisions I make affect them too. So to choose a course, I try to choose wisely. Doesn't mean it will always come out the way I want it to, but again that is Life's journey

Me

2008-10-03T22:17:00.003-06:00

Someone once told me that they would like to know more about me. How frightening!
Surface stuff:
I am ageless...I really do believe that age is only relative to how one thinks and feels.
I have three boys.
I have three dogs and a cat.
I love martial arts.
I collect knives and swords although my favourite weapon is my bo staff.
My favourite move was JAWS when I was seven (my tastes hasn't gotten any better).
I love to write.
My favourite foods are Japanese and Italian. Favourite drink is Iced tea. Favourite alcoholic drink is Scotch-neat.
I need music constantly in my daily life.
I have a tested IQ of genius level although I really hate it. I try to get away with acting insane than smart.
Oh...and I am really morbid and the darker the humour the better.

Things one can't see:
I'm an empath.
I am afraid to slow down.
My brain is working overtime even when I sleep.
I nearly died once and did die another time. And there was no light at the end of the tunnel and no out of body experience.
I am damaged.
I have a damaged heart.
I beat cancer.
I am cynical, but hide it very well.

Life story...I really don't have one. Not one worth hearing anyway. Did not have a great childhood. Did not have it easy afterwards either, but then I am not alone.
I can say I was a weird child. People's emotions were more like very loud voices. I think that is why I like music so much. It drowns out people. Music has its own emotions that tend to block out people. I get tired of trying to build walls, it takes too much energy. I didn't know this as a child. Things were overwhelming and I acted accordingly which was not always the best.

About dying...because I know I am going to get emails over this.
Bad reaction to a prescription drug and it went to the extreme. I was clinically dead for about 5 minutes. It happened when I was 22. It has really changed my perspective on things. My first child was only three years old. It made me think what was important to me. I want my children to remember me as the mom who was not too busy. I don't want them to look back and think I wish...
So my house may be a little cluttered because I cut corners to be outside with them playing and learning. Yeah...gotta work on that. I know there is balance right? But the extreme would me always cleaning the house because I have a three year old that we have fondly nicknamed F-5.
I may not always be on time because I got caught up on trying to catch grasshoppers with the boys or we are playing games together.
I may not always answer the phone if we are getting involved in a real good video game or watching anime.

I am comfortable with myself. I actually like the way I am.

End of the Day

2008-10-03T22:12:00.002-06:00

What do you do at the end of the day? How do you unwind? Is it just a matter of turning off the mind?

I let my mind wander around a bit...luckily it has come back from time to time. Well, I guess that is a matter of opinion at times.
Here I am sitting at this computer, listening to Evanescence and B'z, and drinking a glass of wine. Still can't turn the brain off.
So I sit. Thinking of mindless things like writing poetry and short stories when I should be working. Shhh...no one knows that I am not.

Delicious body scrub

2008-09-09T09:58:00.002-06:00

I love using body scrubs instead of soap or body wash since they tend to dry out the skin. Where I live, that is the last thing you want to do.

Sugar and Spice scrub:
1 cup sugar (I especially like using brown sugar)
2 tsp cinnamon
2tsp nutmeg
1 tsp Vanilla extract
2 cups oil (Grapeseed, Almond oil, etc.)

Mix together in a bowl then put in an airtight container.

My First Post

2008-08-27T22:09:00.002-06:00

I had another blog. But for some reason I can't access it. Bummer. I really liked My Little World.

I was going to make this blog about me and my little world. But I have to include my children because they are a big part of my world. So for those of you who know me (pen pals, IM friends,etc) don't freak because I didn't mention I had children.

I named this Land of the Snow Wolf because Yukie Okami means snow wolf. I usually am in my own little world.